Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
