I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
