Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I need water and some morals
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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