$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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