She's JV to your varsity
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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