I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
