If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
