At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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