No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
