Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize