everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
