It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize