I wish I could teleport
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
