The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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