I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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