Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
