HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
