my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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