You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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