hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
