I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
