Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
