i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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