remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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