Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
