I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
