Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
