So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
