oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
