If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize