Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
