My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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