Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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