I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
