In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
