hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
