took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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