why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
