I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
