i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize