I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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