You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So vagazzling was a success
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