he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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