Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
