jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
where are you?
Hypothermia
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
