My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
