You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
