you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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