Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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