So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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