It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
