My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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