I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
