I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need to calm my uterus...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
