p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Randomize
