Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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