the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
