this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
