I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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