there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
