these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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