we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
